And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
