Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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