She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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