I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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