That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
