You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
