Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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