Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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