Well apparently he's into motor boating.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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