I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
