i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize