i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
