i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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