Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
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Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He has the fingertips of a God
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