She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
