Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
