Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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