Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
