She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
