So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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