why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
