I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm at about main and main street
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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