i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
