Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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