my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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