were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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