I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
