Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
