I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
