I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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