Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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