I am puke
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
