Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
