We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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