If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
