One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
