On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
