upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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