I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
