So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
