You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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