so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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