Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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