My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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