It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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