She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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