I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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