It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
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It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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