Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
