I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
