some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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