i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize
