Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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