I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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