you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
