i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
