i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
