I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dicks are not precious.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
