wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize