I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
