the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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