the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
