shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My ass is underappreciated
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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