Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
