i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
